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Holidays and Conflict

Writer's picture: Shiv  MartinShiv Martin

This week, I'm in Phuket! No, I am not working here, and my hope is that there will be no conflict to resolve, except for the inevitable conflicts that will occur within our family. I know I'm not alone here, but international vacations certainly have a way of creating family conflict. Have you ever wondered why? Especially when we are all meant to be so relaxed, having fun and being grateful...

Well, in general, we are more likely to get into conflicts and arguments when:

1) we are stressed or anxious;

2) we are uncertain of our surroundings, particularly in relation to our health, safety and security;

3) the reality of our situation does not meet our expectations;

4) there is a change of plan or circumstance;

5) lack of communication or different understandings of the same information; and

6) there are hard limits in terms of time and resources. 

I suspect that most families and couples that go on holidays together, experience all of the above and if you are anything like me, this starts with getting to the airport in the first place! Here's an excellent article I found on the topic. How to stop fighting on vacation - Los Angeles Times (latimes.com) I actually read this with my kids before we go. It helps them to understand why their parents are so stressed, and hopefully it reminds me to calm down.

Anyways, back to the point of this newsletter - I'm not here to give you parenting advice. That is DEFINITELY not my forte. 

What I am here to tell you is that over the last 3 months I have been building a collection of my most requested content on my website blog. I have shared my learnings about everything from vicarious trauma to good faith, to the conciliation process and many things related. I have also provided a treasure trove of other resources, books and articles that you can access to broaden your knowledge and understanding of constructive conflict management.

So, while I'm on holidays (hopefully relaxing), I encourage you to have a look at the free, invaluable content I've included on my blog here: BLOG | Shiv Martin

Managing Challenging Interactions - an inclusive approach

As a trainer and workshop facilitator, the content I am most requested to share with workplaces and government agencies is my ideas around managing challenging interactions, de-escalating hostile communications and responding to unreasonable conduct. Having now curated and compiled in- house training on this topic for over a decade, I am excited to present a public course on this topic later this year.

Drawn from my experience in mediation, law, cultural awareness and mental health, this workshop provides all staff with the skills to manage challenging interactions in an inclusive and effective way. I also draw on my own lived experience, particular in the space of mental health and conflict.

My training is founded on principles of safety, fairness and inclusion. I focus on the strategies we can use to understand and connect with others in the midst of challenging interactions, as well as de-escalate and limit the impact of unreasonable conduct or our day-to-day work, and our own wellness as conflict managers.

This training covers important mediation and communication approaches, alongside a conversation about human rights and procedural fairness principles. It is designed to address the hardest part of work for many complaints officers, HR practitioners, people leaders, legal practitioners and government officers. Please get in touch if this will be of interest to you or your team in the next financial year!


Managing challenging interactions? Focus on these concepts and take care of yourself!

 
 
 

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  • What factors determine the booking of mediation services and how do you ensure the best chance of resolution in diverse dispute contexts?
    My mediation services can be booked according to the size of the dispute at hand. I have successfully managed complex multi-party disputes spanning a number of days, and short mediations of 90 minutes. Each dispute and each party has unique needs and I will work independently with all parties and legal representatives to design the most appropriate process to ensure the best chance of resolution. I am experienced at mediating across cultures, generations and dispute contexts.
  • What is your background and experience in mediation and conciliation services?
    After over a decade as a full-time panel mediator, conciliator, decision maker and team manager for various government agencies, Commissions and Tribunals, I am now offering my mediation and conciliation services privately. I am highly experienced in managing a diverse range of disputes and adapt a flexible mediation approach following considered pre-mediation discussions with parties and their legal representatives.
  • What qualifications and experience do you bring to the table as a mediator and mediation accreditation training assessor?
    As an experienced Mediator and Recognized Mediation Accreditation training and assessor I bring to the table a high level of emotional intelligence, the technical skills of a lawyer (Over 10 years PAE) and a depth of cross-cultural and intergenerational conflict experience. I am also skilled in Mental Health First Aid and understand the importance of managing emotions and relationships in effectively managing disputes.
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